What's Wrong With Me?

In my mid twenties, I lived in NYC and worked as an office manager at a psychotherapy center in Chelsea. It was my favorite job. I loved my boss, the therapists, the clients, the deli guys next door, the Debbie Harry sightings; I loved everything about that job (except having to deal with insurance companies).  

During my time there, I became fairly familiar with the DSM-IV and seemed to recognize parts of my struggles in many of the codes: 314.00 (ADD) , 300.02 (Generalized Anxiety Disorder), 300.3 (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder), 296.30 (Major Depressive Disorder, Recurrent). One of the therapists, my friend, L., got very annoyed with me whenever he would see me perusing pages and considering criteria. "Stop pathologizing yourself," he'd say. "There is nothing wrong with you!"  

But there was...  

Something was very wrong with me. I always knew it even if I couldn't name it. A decade would pass before I began to figure things out. It would take having a baby (and consequently, losing my mind) and finding a good neurologist to learn that most of my struggles originated with having undiagnosed Narcolepsy since early childhood. Later, I would figure out that most of my struggles with Narcolepsy may have been exacerbated by undiagnosed Celiac Disease.  

My intentions are primarily to collect, organize and make sense of my thoughts and experiences living with Narcolepsy and Celiac Disease both before and after diagnosis. Even with my super hero neurologist, I had to figure out most things on my own. It has been a difficult journey, and the internet continues to be my most valuable resource. Through online forums and blogs, I have been able to make connections that I could not have made alone, which is my main motivation for starting this blog.